Pieces.

I find it hard to sleep at night with all the thoughts rushing around my head.
Still, all I need is confirmation from you. The rug was pulled out from underneath me, yet you are still to set it right.
All I can think of is this.
You all say not to worry about what is yet to happen in the future as I should be focusing on the present. But I cannot do this. I just need you to have my back. To tell me that you will be here for me if it come to that. You know why I can't go anywhere else. So why do you persist on leaving it vacant?

I am also wondering on my morals as of late, see when you asked 'you wouldn't do that though would you?', I may have answered 'no', but a voice inside said why not do it? Perhaps that would be taking an easy way out, getting something for virtually nothing in return, and I can see how it is wrong, but still...

I don't know where this is going to take me, if anywhere. I am afraid of this changing my life. I want it so desperately but fear that if I do, nothing will ever be normal again. Why can't I just want something "normal". This is all so humiliating.

Sometimes, I just feel that I have no idea about anything. And I am standing with all the earth slowly crumbling underneath me until I am stranded on one piece of hot dessert sand, cracks and all.