Like a jump rope really.
Or standing on a cliff face slowly swaying in the wind, eyes closed, ready - for whatever is to come.
Perhaps running across hot coals? Or playing the game 'Step on a crack and break your back'.
Everything we do in life has consequences, but at what point to they outweigh the positive aspects of the decision at hand. If any, are there any?
If I am not to judge, or to have a negative opinion of what society deems unacceptable is that saying my moral compass needs to go in for repair?
One will never know until they try I guess....
Sway, slowly...
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Pieces.
I find it hard to sleep at night with all the thoughts rushing around my head.
Still, all I need is confirmation from you. The rug was pulled out from underneath me, yet you are still to set it right.
All I can think of is this.
You all say not to worry about what is yet to happen in the future as I should be focusing on the present. But I cannot do this. I just need you to have my back. To tell me that you will be here for me if it come to that. You know why I can't go anywhere else. So why do you persist on leaving it vacant?
I am also wondering on my morals as of late, see when you asked 'you wouldn't do that though would you?', I may have answered 'no', but a voice inside said why not do it? Perhaps that would be taking an easy way out, getting something for virtually nothing in return, and I can see how it is wrong, but still...
I don't know where this is going to take me, if anywhere. I am afraid of this changing my life. I want it so desperately but fear that if I do, nothing will ever be normal again. Why can't I just want something "normal". This is all so humiliating.
Sometimes, I just feel that I have no idea about anything. And I am standing with all the earth slowly crumbling underneath me until I am stranded on one piece of hot dessert sand, cracks and all.
Still, all I need is confirmation from you. The rug was pulled out from underneath me, yet you are still to set it right.
All I can think of is this.
You all say not to worry about what is yet to happen in the future as I should be focusing on the present. But I cannot do this. I just need you to have my back. To tell me that you will be here for me if it come to that. You know why I can't go anywhere else. So why do you persist on leaving it vacant?
I am also wondering on my morals as of late, see when you asked 'you wouldn't do that though would you?', I may have answered 'no', but a voice inside said why not do it? Perhaps that would be taking an easy way out, getting something for virtually nothing in return, and I can see how it is wrong, but still...
I don't know where this is going to take me, if anywhere. I am afraid of this changing my life. I want it so desperately but fear that if I do, nothing will ever be normal again. Why can't I just want something "normal". This is all so humiliating.
Sometimes, I just feel that I have no idea about anything. And I am standing with all the earth slowly crumbling underneath me until I am stranded on one piece of hot dessert sand, cracks and all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)